Plied and Pleasured It

Aug, 2006

Try and Picture it.

I've just watched a third version (or fourth, I'm losing count) of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. 

The one with Hugh Grant and Emma Thompson is still my favorite. Thompson got an Academy Award or something for the screenplay, but she just copied it off a book. How worthy is that?

Okay, that's not fair; it was a good screenplay.

Then there was the enjoyable Bollywood type version with song and dance routines that's set in modern day Amritsar, India. I guess Societally speaking, modern Amritsar is as close to Jane Austen's 18th century England as you're going to get.

I read Jane Austen in senior high. I was an avowed communist then and did not appreciate Art for Art's Sake, or stories about gentlemen of leisure living off property, though, now, I wouldn't mind being one.

Anyway, while watching this latest version of Pride and Prejudice, it occurred to me that this story would make a great porn flick:

A greedy mother desperate to get her five vampish voluptuous daughters laid by the highest bidders. Rich handsome hunks with nothing to do but chase pussy. The screenplay practically writes itself. Darcey could be 'Dicksy' and the Bennets could be the 'Bendits' and so forth.

All kinds of possibilities are occurring to me as I write this: Well-endowed actors in tight 18th century slacks; buxom actresses in white T-shirts getting caught in the wet English weather; balls (as in parties) where people meet for orgies; clothes-ripping cat-fights as sisters fight over the men...

Excuse me while I, erm, go think about this in detail...