I joined a health club recently.
The impetus came from a fitness club I discovered about a minute's drive from my favorite restaurant.
The club offers: free video rentals, a reading room with magazines, an unlimited free soft-drinks bar (which they call a 'juice bar') and a killer snack bar that stocks expensive but scrumptious pre-packaged snacks.
The large number of friendly, pretty receptionists will gladly help you exercise your flirtation skills.
They give you a free sports bag, towels, music headphones and a large water bottle which you can fill with soft drinks from the 'juice bar'
They have a large, comfy, well-stuffed leather lounge chair which is almost always occupied by some inconsiderate bastard (usually me) watching the latest video running on the large-screen TV.
Oh, and they also have some exercise machines with stuffed leather seats. These are handy to sit on after an exhausting half hour of watching the ladies' aerobics class.
Wa wants to know why I spend so much time at the fitness club and why I need larger pants. Quick, help me think of an answer!
Actually, I joined because I now find that I'm unable to keep up with the energy levels of my two little monsters, Abia and Gigi of the mafia brigade. I tell you: the exercise really makes a difference - I can now scream at them much louder!
This has the effect of shutting them up for about thirty seconds. But the neighbors sure get a fright.
Some days, when it's raining, I exercise by running up and down the stairs at home while the dogs, Bubbles and Muffins watch curiously. They're clearly impressed if the amount of drooling and tail-wagging is anything to go by.