Kids today…

 I sent this message to my daughter, Gigi:

I was taking a nap, and I had this dream:

Mom & I were walking towards GG’s condo. We saw a man spraying something from a can on to the edges of the condo door.

I cried, “hey what you doing?”

He stopped, aimed the can at me, and sprayed. I blocked the spray with the backpack I was carrying, then threw the backpack at him. He fell to the ground. I jumped on him, held his hand’s behind his back and sat on top of him. Told mom to call security. She then took off his shoes and threw them as far as she could. She pulled down his pants up to his knees, so he couldn’t run.

Someone came out of their room and filmed the whole thing, and put it up on the condo group message board.

Mom and I became famous in the condo.

Then I woke up.

You are welcome, GG. We saved you from, I don’t know…something.

Her response was:

“Thank you?”

Kids today are just barely grateful for all we do for them.

I Had a Dream

 Martin Luther King ain’t the only one who’s had a dream.

I read about this giant, several stories high aquarium exploding at a hotel in Germany. That night I had this dream:

I’m in this building with a large aquarium. The best view of the aquarium is from an atrium on the first floor. As I ascend to the atrium on an escalator, I see a text poster that says, “Welcome esteemed guest speaker, Mr Hemant Patel.”

I’m thinking, “hmm, that’s a Gujarati name.”

I arrive at the atrium where there seems to be a reception in progress with scrumptious-looking finger foods. I walk to the edge to admire the aquarium. A waiter approaches me and hands me a plate, saying, “help yourself to the food, sir.”

I oblige, stuffing myself silly. 

Nobody seems to have met this Mr. Hemant Patel, and start assuming I’m him, saying, “hello Mr. Patel” and such greetings. I nod politely, but mainly concentrate on the food. Then a lady walks up to me and hands me a microphone, saying, “it’s time for your speech, Mr. Patel.”

I have a mouthful of brie, and mumble something. Then I panic, drop my plate, and hightail it outta there. As my dropped plate clatters, people look up. They see a big crack on the aquarium glass, and begin running as well. The aquarium explodes just as we all reach safety. Everyone thanks me profusely for quickly alerting them to the danger and saving their lives.

Among the ruins of the shattered aquarium, along with all the dead fish, I see the body of an Indian man that I presume to be Hemant Patel. I’m thinking, “he missed some great food.”

That’s when I woke up, with the taste of brie in my mouth.

Have an apeeling New Year

Here’s a fool quoting himself:

Take a moment to tip the gravel from your shoes, and walk unencumbered by minor irritants. ~GT

As a kid in Mumbai, I had to stay at a hospital for an operation. My mom stayed with me. 

As part of my daily recovery meal, the orderly would bring me a boiled egg. My mom, a vegetarian, had never seen an actual egg, let alone cooked one. It tasted awful and I hated it, but she wanted a quick recovery for me so forced me to eat it. Next day, exasperated at my incessant complaints, she told a nurse that I was being difficult, and begged her to persuade me. The nurse explained to my mom that boiled eggs first needed to be peeled!

After that, I ate them happily, dipped in spicy chutney. 

The lesson here, I guess, is that some things in life are better when excessive layers are removed. 

May you peel off the things in life that irk you, and enjoy the meat of life.

Gaurang Thakkar

December, 2022.