Happy Two Lives

 

“You got to spread joy up to the maximum

And bring gloom down to the minimum”

~ Accentuate the Positive

 Aretha Franklin. 

“The world is not my home, I’m just passing through”

~Come On Up To The House

Tom Waits.

It is said that we die twice.

The first time is when our body calls it quits. The second is when the last person to remember us utters our name for the last time. 

This means we also live twice. 

The flavor of our second life is dictated by our conduct in the first. The good news is that each of us, by the way we choose to live, has fair control over the quality and kindness of that remembrance.

Wishing you a long, and fondly evoked, two lives. 

Gaurang Thakkar

December, 2025.

The inimitable Aretha Franklin:

https://music.apple.com/th/album/ac-cent-tchu-ate-the-positive/425784471?i=425784846

https://youtube.com/watch?v=LDXnqmgtp7s&si=OjUm9tCfk7JdPDuW

A Paul McCartney live version with a nice piano riff: https://music.apple.com/th/album/ac-cent-tchu-ate-the-positive-live-from-capitol-studios/1440951892?i=1440953064

https://youtube.com/watch?v=vv4y_kJGzCU&si=-fPgWrQwbJcQQRq7

 https://youtube.com/watch?v=Sbe3wJQD5KI&si=FTF-jCX3GXoWkxW5

Tom Waits:

https://music.apple.com/th/album/come-on-up-to-the-house/1485070836?i=1485070857

Have a sweet New Year.

Prince Harry said in an interview with CBS’ Anderson Cooper that the British Royal family motto is, “Never complain, never explain.”

Well, our family motto is, “Let’s Eat Cake!”

Wa, and my daughters love to bake, and are good at it. Wa bakes regularly, and whenever my daughters visit, they bake.

I, bar a few fortunate neighbors, am their only significant client. Unlike those neighbors, my experience of the largesse The Bakers bestow is superior. There’s something about watching them work, forcefully declining my “help”, and taking in the aroma emanating from the oven, that feels like a soft, cozy love blanket. And tucking into that freshness is icing on the cake. 

I wish you all a New Year filled with the warmth of fresh bread, and the unparalleled sweetness of cake baked with love.

Gaurang Thakkar

December, 2024.

Make your own happiness.

Make your own happiness.

Ah! böwakawa

poussé, poussé

From the song, #9 Dream

By John Lennon

According to Lennon, the above foreign-sounding phrase doesn't mean anything; it’s just a phrase that came to him in a dream, and he decided to base a song around it. This reminds me of a scene from the film, Cool Hand Luke where Paul Newman’s character wins a jailhouse poker round with a weak hand. When the losers lament, “but you had nothing!” He replies, “sometimes, ‘nothing’ can be a real cool hand.”

In life, as in poker, we get the cards we get. What matters is how we play the hands we’re dealt.

Lennon made a lovely song out of a meaningless snippet from a dream. 

I wish you the wherewithal to make the best of what you have, and, like Lennon, sing, “🎶Ah! Böwakawa poussè, poussè🎶” and make for yourself a very happy new year.

Warm wishes,

Gaurang Thakkar

Dec., 2023.

You can find Lennon’s song on YouTube or Apple Music:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=tM6JSuLu134&feature=share

https://music.apple.com/th/album/9-dream-the-ultimate-mix/1527740882?i=1527741713

https://www.thakkar.info/2023/12/make-your-own-happiness.html

Kids today…

 I sent this message to my daughter, Gigi:

I was taking a nap, and I had this dream:

Mom & I were walking towards GG’s condo. We saw a man spraying something from a can on to the edges of the condo door.

I cried, “hey what you doing?”

He stopped, aimed the can at me, and sprayed. I blocked the spray with the backpack I was carrying, then threw the backpack at him. He fell to the ground. I jumped on him, held his hand’s behind his back and sat on top of him. Told mom to call security. She then took off his shoes and threw them as far as she could. She pulled down his pants up to his knees, so he couldn’t run.

Someone came out of their room and filmed the whole thing, and put it up on the condo group message board.

Mom and I became famous in the condo.

Then I woke up.

You are welcome, GG. We saved you from, I don’t know…something.

Her response was:

“Thank you?”

Kids today are just barely grateful for all we do for them.

I Had a Dream

 Martin Luther King ain’t the only one who’s had a dream.

I read about this giant, several stories high aquarium exploding at a hotel in Germany. That night I had this dream:

I’m in this building with a large aquarium. The best view of the aquarium is from an atrium on the first floor. As I ascend to the atrium on an escalator, I see a text poster that says, “Welcome esteemed guest speaker, Mr Hemant Patel.”

I’m thinking, “hmm, that’s a Gujarati name.”

I arrive at the atrium where there seems to be a reception in progress with scrumptious-looking finger foods. I walk to the edge to admire the aquarium. A waiter approaches me and hands me a plate, saying, “help yourself to the food, sir.”

I oblige, stuffing myself silly. 

Nobody seems to have met this Mr. Hemant Patel, and start assuming I’m him, saying, “hello Mr. Patel” and such greetings. I nod politely, but mainly concentrate on the food. Then a lady walks up to me and hands me a microphone, saying, “it’s time for your speech, Mr. Patel.”

I have a mouthful of brie, and mumble something. Then I panic, drop my plate, and hightail it outta there. As my dropped plate clatters, people look up. They see a big crack on the aquarium glass, and begin running as well. The aquarium explodes just as we all reach safety. Everyone thanks me profusely for quickly alerting them to the danger and saving their lives.

Among the ruins of the shattered aquarium, along with all the dead fish, I see the body of an Indian man that I presume to be Hemant Patel. I’m thinking, “he missed some great food.”

That’s when I woke up, with the taste of brie in my mouth.

Have an apeeling New Year

Here’s a fool quoting himself:

Take a moment to tip the gravel from your shoes, and walk unencumbered by minor irritants. ~GT

As a kid in Mumbai, I had to stay at a hospital for an operation. My mom stayed with me. 

As part of my daily recovery meal, the orderly would bring me a boiled egg. My mom, a vegetarian, had never seen an actual egg, let alone cooked one. It tasted awful and I hated it, but she wanted a quick recovery for me so forced me to eat it. Next day, exasperated at my incessant complaints, she told a nurse that I was being difficult, and begged her to persuade me. The nurse explained to my mom that boiled eggs first needed to be peeled!

After that, I ate them happily, dipped in spicy chutney. 

The lesson here, I guess, is that some things in life are better when excessive layers are removed. 

May you peel off the things in life that irk you, and enjoy the meat of life.

Gaurang Thakkar

December, 2022. 

Have a Flavorful New Year

 As a 5 year old in the grimy Mumbai suburb of Malad, I’d go outside with my grandpa, pot in hand, to wait in the early mornings for the guy who’d come with his buffalo. The man would milk the buffalo right there on the street with the milk squirting into our pot. When the pot was full, my grandpa would let me pay the man with the money he’d put in my pocket.

We’d then take the brimming pot home, boil the milk on a coal-burning stove, skim off an inch of white butter, boil it again, skim off another inch of butter, then use the milk in our chai. Even after twice skimming the fat, the milk was still thick and rich. Any remaining milk would be fermented into yoghurt, for making cooling, delicious lassi or warm, soothing kadhi (a chickpea flour soup) the next day.

And the butter, sans any flavorings, was delicious on its own or on bread, or rolled up in an overnight roti. With no refrigerator, the butter had to be all eaten the same day, and I was happy to oblige. I can taste that ambrosia in my mouth even now, a taste so comforting and sumptuous, it felt like I was savoring all that is good in the world.

It’s occurred to me that life is like buffalo milk. In its rawness, banal. But properly treated, it is rich and variously delectable, and, has to be consumed before it expires. 

May your new year be as flavorful and bounteous as buffalo milk butter. 

Gaurang Thakkar 

December, 2021.

Merry Christmas from an atheist

 As an atheist who tries to adhere to the Religion of Kindness, I adore Christmas. 

Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ, who may, or may not, have existed. What matters to me is the message in The Gospels that depict his life and lessons. Christ’s life is a life of service to others, and his lessons are the lessons of kindness, tolerance, and forgiveness. These are qualities worth celebrating.

Merry Christmas.

Dec., 2021.

Light, Goodness, and Knowledge.

 The biggest festival among Hindus is called “Diwali.”

“Diwa” means “light” or “candlelight” of this sort: 🪔 that is used in prayers and meditations.

That’s why it is accurately translated as the “Festival of Lights.”

It celebrates the victory of light over darkness, good over evil, and knowledge over ignorance. In these perilous times, that kind of Light is needed more than ever.

In the Hindu myth, Lord Rama is exiled to the jungle due to the machinations of a duplicitous stepmother. There, his loving and faithful wife, Sita is kidnapped by the evil Ravana who tries, unsuccessfully, to bend her to his evil ways till she is rescued by Rama with the help of his faithful monkey-god, Hanuman. Ravana is defeated, and the group return home triumphantly where Rama reclaims his rightful place as king, ushering in an era of peace, plenty and joy.

Diwali is the celebration of that return.

Happy Diwali, everyone.

Nov., 2021.

Memories

 Chahe Koi Mujhe...Yahoo...  Junglee 1961)

Television wasn’t introduced in Mumbai till the ‘70s. The main visual entertainments were street performers, cinemas, and plays. Popular films ran in the same cinema for years. One such film was Junglee (Wild Man). Kids in my neighborhood were singing the title song for months on end. I was five and begged my mom to take me to see this film. She eventually scraped together the money to take me. It was my first ever foray to a cinema. My next visit to a cinema was six years later, in Hong Kong, on a Sunday when you could get in before 11 A.M. for 70 cents. For that princely sum, we could only afford one ticket so my brother and I squeezed into one seat. Fortunately, we were both undernourished, so skinny enough to be able to sit comfortably on one cinema seat at Hoover Theater in Causeway Bay. I don’t remember what we watched, but I do remember Junglee, the title song, many of the scenes, and even some of the dialogue almost six decades on.

It’s true what they say: you never forget your first.

Have a Friendly New Year

The first half of my life was fairly lousy. I won’t bore with the details. But amidst the lousiness, there were bright spots: simple friendships, the joys of which I will take to my grave. And among those bright spots, the brightest of all: one friendship in particular.

His kindness, generosity of spirit, sympathetic ear, and good humor saw me through many a dark day. His family, too, embraced me as one of their own. I never lacked for love. 

On second thought, the first half of my life wasn’t so lousy after all!

I hope all of you have a friend like the one I am fortunate to have. If not, it’s never too late; I for one continue to make wonderful friends even now.

My New Year wish for all of you is an abundance of friendships, good and great.

Happy New Year.

Gaurang Thakkar

Dec, 2020/Jan, 2021

Wishes ARE fishes

There’s a little poem that says that if wishes were fishes we’d all have everything we wanted, but that wishes aren’t fishes; that if we want fish, we have to go out and catch the fish instead of just wishing.

But is there power in wishing something, not selfishly for ourselves, but for the benefit of others?

Life turns on a dime. For all I know, my well-being may be hanging by the thinnest of threads. Who knows where the strength of that thread comes from? I like to think that its strength comes from the well wishes bestowed on me by others. Religious people call this “the power of prayer.” So I take every good wish for me as a tangible gift that bolsters the thread that carries the weight of my wellbeing.

In that spirit, I send you my heartfelt good wishes for a peaceful, joyful, and healthy New Year.

And I am sincerely grateful for any good thoughts you may have about me.

Gaurang Thakkar

December, 2019

* If Wishes Were Fishes

( https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/if-wishes-were-fishes-3/ )

** “Life turns on a dime” is a line from the Demi Moore film, Ghost.

President Donald Trump’s speech to the UN

I'm honored to be speaking at The Uhn. Boy, whatta crowd. Whatta diverse crowd. Suck it, CNN, who says colored folks don't come to my rallies.

I wanna welcome you all to my city, they love me here in New York. You won't hear it from the lame stream media but I won bigly here. They said I couldn't get to 270, but boy did I get to 270, and then some; I'm The President, can you believe it? 

Look, I'll be honest with you. The restaurant here is great, but it's a disgrace compared to the one at Mar-a-Lago; they don't even have chocolate cake. They have some gluten-free vegan shit. Next general assembly is gonna be at Mar-a-Lago. Everyone gets in at half price—chairs and water not included. You'll love Trump Water. Everybody says it's the best water. Just $5 a bottle (an extra $50 if you want water in it)

But enough about me. Did you know my beautiful penthouse apartment is just a few blocks east of here? There's still a couple of great apartments available in my building, if anyone here wants to buy one, anyone? OK, I see a few hands, I'll get one of  our guys to set up a showing, thanks.

Anyway, back to me. Before I was elected by a massive landslide, the world was a mess, but I fixed it. So if I resign next week, it's only because my work here is done. You are welcome.

Thank you, and don't forget to tip the waiters.

Proof of (Married) Life

The yearly bureaucratic hoops I have to go through  for my Thai visa is an annoyance. Thankfully, the immigration officers are always polite and helpful.

A recent new rule required that Wa and I prove we are still living together. And the way to prove this was to include in my annual visa renewal application, photos of us together inside and outside our home. How this proved anything is beyond my feeble understanding, but there it is, so we are compelled to comply.

At the immigration office, when we were asked for photos, I triumphantly declared to Wa that it was a good thing I'd bought that tripod she had not wanted me to buy. She retorted that a camera perched on a window sill would do just as well and how I keep buying useless stuff, to which I replied: not as useless as her 17 pairs of shoes and raincoats for the dogs and she went on about how my mother never liked her and that I'm too lenient on the kids and I complained that she was letting herself go with all that fried chicken...

The immigration officer interrupted, saying she was convinced we were married and no photos would be necessary.

"Photos? What photos?" we asked in unison, having forgotten the original spark for our argument. We were annoyed at this interruption and continued our argument outside.

So, my advice to genuinely married couples applying to renew their visas and having to prove they are still married and living together: just be yourselves. 

You're welcome.

Memory

We exist independent of others, but we also exist in the memories of others.

When the neurons fire up and thoughts of me appear in the brains of you, I am momentarily alive and present, wherever I may physically be, even it be six feet under.

I would hope those thoughts are warm and cuddly, otherwise my existence in your head would be a futile one. 

In Johny Thunder’s album, “So Alone” there’s a sad song titled, “You Can’t Put Your Arms Around a Memory” — but I think you can.

Lives are brief, but memories are longer. When I’m dead, no “goodbyes” please; just good memories.

Brexit Rom Com

If Britain and Europe were a rom-com movie couple, Europe would be Harry and Britain would be Sally. They squabble and they fight and they make up and they make out. They need each other, but they can't stand each other. Harry wants to settle down, but Sally wants to play the field. In the end, Sally will become old and decrepit, ridden with STD's, knock on Harry's door and beg to be taken back. Harry will look her up and down, disgusted by what he sees, shut the door and live happily ever after. Please buy my book: A Hollywood Reporter's Guide to Understanding World Events.

Learned optimism

We humans are a gloomy bunch, even when things are improving. This is because our feelings are not data-driven, but memory-driven. We rely on how easy it is to recall an example, and bad things are more memorable, because we have evolved to be cognizant of risks and dangers. 

Moreover, bad things get reported and crowd our newsfeeds. Car crashes are reported; cars reaching their destinations safely, are not.

This means that for many of us, being optimistic requires conscious effort. 

I spent much of my youth as a depressive. I had good reason to be such. I did not stop being a depressive because my luck changed, but rather, my luck changed when I stopped being depressed. I made a conscious decision to cheer the fuck up. It was an unrelated quote from Winston Churchill that stirred me to action: "Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defenses for peace must be constructed." I decided I would change my life by changing my mind.

I began by learning the hardest math of all: the math of counting my blessings. I got better with practice.

I have to work hard to remain optimistic, because I’m a natural brooder, prone to ruminating on the meaninglessness of life.

I‘m fortunate to be around people who have had very hard lives and yet have remained optimistic and are quick to delight. I‘ve watched and learned from them and so my optimism is a learned, and practiced optimism.

While some people are naturally happy, others need to make an effort. So work at it, and have a Happy (or even Happier) New Year.

Gaurang Thakkar 

December, 2018

Tookay

In the breeding season, large lizards known as “Tookay” (because of the mating sound they make) puncture the evenings with their incessant calls. The more times a lizard calls, the more likely it is to attract a mate. Thais believe that if you hear the sound “tookay” repeated seven times (a rare occurrence),  it will bering you luck. 

The other day, I suffered a major incident. I got a paper cut on my pinky and was bleeding all over my silk bathrobe. I dialed for an ambulance, but the people at the other end just laughed when I told them my predicament.

I scrambled to locate my first aid box, found it, frantically pried it open and inside was a gecko and some ants. I grabbed the gecko, squeezing its tummy, causing its long tongue to shoot out, licking my wound. Miraculously, my wound healed instantly.

Over the next several days, my physiology changed, I could climb walls--buildings even, craved insects and could bring the ladies to ecstasy with my long tongue.

Wa wasn't impressed. All she wanted was for me to say "tookay" seven times, after which she rushed off to buy a lottery, leaving me, mateless.

Merry Christmas

A lesser known Bible trivia is that when Joseph discovered that his soon to be wife, Mary, was pregnant, he decided to keep quiet about this premarital pregnancy to preserve decorum, and his reputation. He planned to quietly separate from Mary later. An angel addresses Joseph’s anxiety about his reputation: “Do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife because what is conceived in her is from The Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you are to give him the name ‘Jesus’ because he will save people from their sins.”

The angel is asking Joseph to take his eyes off himself and to focus instead on the child being carried by Mary. Instead of attempting to save himself, the angel points to Christ as The Savior. And this may be the key to breaking from our distress of worrying what others think of us—we should rather think about something other then ourselves.

Author C.S. Lewis described how he struggled to find happiness and how he came to believe in that babe born on that first Christmas. The secret, he says, is not to spend time promoting oneself. Instead, we should seek humility. “Humility,” says Lewis, “is not thinking *less* of yourself, but thinking *of* yourself, less.”

Joseph almost made a catastrophic error by focusing too much on himself, his own reputation. The angel reminded him to look beyond himself, because salvation came not from within, but from without. 

And THAT is the Good News of Christmas—the Good News is to be found in the joy we can bring to others.

Merry Christmas.

Dec., 2018.