Tookay

In the breeding season, large lizards known as “Tookay” (because of the mating sound they make) puncture the evenings with their incessant calls. The more times a lizard calls, the more likely it is to attract a mate. Thais believe that if you hear the sound “tookay” repeated seven times (a rare occurrence),  it will bering you luck. 

The other day, I suffered a major incident. I got a paper cut on my pinky and was bleeding all over my silk bathrobe. I dialed for an ambulance, but the people at the other end just laughed when I told them my predicament.

I scrambled to locate my first aid box, found it, frantically pried it open and inside was a gecko and some ants. I grabbed the gecko, squeezing its tummy, causing its long tongue to shoot out, licking my wound. Miraculously, my wound healed instantly.

Over the next several days, my physiology changed, I could climb walls--buildings even, craved insects and could bring the ladies to ecstasy with my long tongue.

Wa wasn't impressed. All she wanted was for me to say "tookay" seven times, after which she rushed off to buy a lottery, leaving me, mateless.